"I Hate Snakes, Jake, I Hate 'Em!"

In any given life, there are snakes. Snakes live among us. Whether you want to believe it or not, they are everywhere. They don't want to be stepped on, shot or eaten. They really don't like to run into us. They are the introverts of the animal kingdom....are they really animals, though? They're cold-blooded reptilian-like creatures. Have you ever held one? Weird and cool skin, like they're living dead or something. Snakes scare us. They are mysterious, sometimes dangerous and like to lurk under bushes. And then there's always that event in the Garden of Eden... I have more snake stories than one person ought to have in a lifetime. As I began musing about myself and serpents, I decided to detail the high points and leave the safe stories behind. Here goes...

Snake Rescue #1
I was a freshman in college, up in Dayton, Tennessee, where the hills look like God just threw down giant dirt clods and covered them with magnificent ferns and trees. It was a beautiful fall day, with leaves falling and crunching underneath. I was with a friend and we had hiked several miles into a place called Pocket Wilderness. We were climbing a steep hill, where you're not exactly walking or climbing but somewhere in-between...using hands to help yourself but not fully vertical. My friend was hiking maybe ten feet in front of me. I happened to glance up just in time to see two beady eyes staring at me, about two feet right in front of my face. Did I say right in front of my face? I couldn't see a form yet.... just the eyes. But then the fat, coiled body of a sage and wily copperhead snake materialized like Houdini out of a cloud of steam. I froze, steeling myself for the strike. But he froze too. As we stared at each other, I was able to carefully inch my way backwards until I was at a safe distance. My hiking partner was asking what the matter was...then he scoffed and said there was nothing there. He moved towards where the snake was and I screamed before he could get too close. The snake took off for home and the guy nearly jumped out of his skin when he finally saw it. All I could think about was what would have happened if I hadn't seen it? We were miles into the wilderness and if it had bitten me, it would have hooked me about the head and shoulders. Shuddering.... So God rescued me that time.

Snake Rescue #2
Fast forward a few years. I am married with a toddler and pregnant with a second baby. It is cold outside but we are playing in the backyard. I'm sitting on the swing when my 18-month-old starts babbling excitedly. At first I was just looking at his face, but then notice that he is pointing at the ground. At a coiled-up snake, ready to strike, right in front of him. I couldn't tell what kind it was, but it looked dangerous and had one of those diamond-shaped heads, with variegated markings, silver and black. It didn't look like any King snake I'd ever seen. I quietly said, "Jonathan, don't move." This was a child that never stopped moving and always pushed the limits. But thank God, he stood still while I Ninja-ed my way to him and was able to silently pull him away from the snake. Just as this is happening (nobody is going to believe me when I tell it)...my husband, Ken, pulls in the driveway. I'm about 15 feet away from the snake, which is still coiled and staring at us. I tell Ken and he sees it. He runs back to the truck, where he happens to have a flat-headed shovel. He hastens to the snake and with one stroke, chops that snake's head off. When it calms down and we can examine the snake, it has rattles on it. It was a Timber Rattlesnake. So....here we go again. God rescued our baby.

Snake Rescue #3
Many years later (with not a few more tamer snake stories in between) -- one day my three teenage sons and Ken were in our yard and basement, cleaning up debris and construction materials. I heard yelling, mostly, "Mama! Come here!" I ran down the stairs to see my guys all by the boat door, surrounding the biggest, fattest Copperhead I had ever seen. It was writhing, coiling, springing, and carrying on like a demon. They all thought it was very funny, particularly Mama's horrified face. I'm afraid boys never outgrow the fun and exciting possibility of scaring girls out of their wits. This is what had happened -- Daniel, our middle son, was carrying armloads of debris from the basement out to the truck. He got to a pile of plywood pieces and reached down and picked up a large section of wood. As he lifted the piece, the snake leaped out at him, barely missing his neck. After the initial shock, the guys surrounded the snake and were basically taunting the thing. Ken reached around and got his trusty flat-headed shovel and once again, acting like Poseidon with his trident, he lopped off that snake's head with one smooth motion. The dude is impressive, I'm telling ya. The guys are acting all macho, but that head is not dead yet. It was rolling around the ground, snapping its jaws open and shut. They had to bury it to keep somebody from stepping on it later. I can still see that thing in my mind. Yikes, now I have to try to sleep. But I can sleep, because I figure God's got some kind of purpose for saving our son.

Three different times, three of us have been precariously close to being impaired or probably killed by deadly snakes. But who knows how many snakes, human and otherwise, God has spared us from that we knew nothing about? I'm pretty thankful He's my friend. And oh yeah, that Poseidon guy's pretty handy to have around, too.