Monday, June 26, 2017

Seasons and Spinning

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace..." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Wiser words have never been spoken. The seasons of life that we pass through, they are ever changing. Yet we mourn when things change, we resist that which is uncomfortable. Life can become a place of ruts, where our wagon wheels easily jump over into the familiar grooves and fail to seek new roads. How sad, when we become tired as we age, to forget the wonders of the earth spinning around us. I have been pondering these things of late. It is our default, as we are madly striving to survive, to numbly and thoughtlessly submit ourselves to the grindstone. We see the wheel in front of us, we toil and push, thinking we must do this or that...without questioning our goals or our reasons. Why am I doing this? Is it worth it? What is my purpose on this planet? Am I making a difference?

In my line of work (real estate), I daily see people making changes in their lives. Some are being forced while others are simply jumping into it. A sad widow loses her husband and must simplify her life. Another couple is failing physically and needs to move closer to their children. A young family wants more space. A job takes a single man to a new city, so he must sell his home here. In the adventure and excitement of a new move, usually there is also some fear and trepidation, mixed with thousands of details that must be tended to. They say that moving is one of the top five stressful things you can do in your life. No wonder I'm stressed -- I'm completely immersed and emoting peoples' moves every day! I can't seem to separate myself from their joy, pain, emotions or trials. 

This new season of my life, I'm being stretched and called to sprout new wings. I thought after raising four babies to adulthood and numerous other career paths, my elasticity might just be gone. If you could feel the pain in my knees, you might say it was definitely down the drain. They say our brains have some kind of plasticity to them, that they are malleable and changeable, if we will keep using them. I hoped that after Algebra 2 and the advent of calculators, maybe I'd be done with math. But no, I whip out that calculator every day and actually use it. Technology, traffic and grandbabies are assuring me of all kinds of plastic in my brain. Trying to keep it between the lines and not overheat. Touchy subject. 

Ecclesiastes always bothered me, because he keeps talking about how everything is vain. It's like he's really depressed because he's worked hard all his life for nothing. I recently listened to the whole book in one felled swoop while I was driving in mad circles around Atlanta. I came away hopeful. What I heard was: hey, everybody's supposed to work hard. But look, enjoy it. Yes, enjoy your work. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. Enjoy all the people God put in your life. Don't put too much stock in stuff that doesn't matter, because we're all gonna die soon. Look to God, enjoy Him too. We all need to stop what we're doing, take a gander around us, crack a smile, find something to laugh about. Embrace the season we find ourselves in. Say what you mean and mean what you say, even if it's difficult. Then love our people, unashamedly and unreservedly. Be honest. We need to get over ourselves.

Monday, June 12, 2017

A Pretty Old Love Story

I thought I'd revisit the subject of marital love...
I was in agony, some years ago. My stomach had been doing flip-flops for weeks and I finally wound up in the hospital. People torturing me every hour on the hour, waking me up ten times a night, dragging me down to the bowels of the place for testing, vampires draining me of my blood every morning and evening. I was scared. They said that I had pancreatitis and did I drink? Did I have my gallbladder? (No) -- so then I must drink a lot. No! You don't know me, but no! Meanwhile, my stomach. Thankfully a hospital is also a place where they have drugs for that (No! I don't do recreational drugs). So many questions. 

In the midst of the confusion and agony was this guy. He hauled me down to the Urgent Care place, an hour away, then stayed up all night, asking the nurses and doctors all the questions that I didn't think to ask. They put me in an ambulance headed for the hospital. He made plans, called the right people, held my hand and rubbed my back, then tucked the covers around me when they finally gave me something for pain. After several days in the hospital, when things began to resolve, he held me quietly as my fears overtook me in the night. When we got home, he ran to the store for strange foods and liquids to help me through. When I got cabin fever he got me in the car and road us all over Carroll County, looking at land and houses (one of our favorite pastimes). 

Love is very rarely like the movies. It's beautiful but then icky. The playing out of it over time is a roller coaster ride, where sometimes you'd like to jump off. Other times it's as soft as a kitten purring. We've made and squeezed out a bunch of babies, thrown things, yelled things, hugged, asked forgiveness, barely tolerated each other, laughed until we cried, toiled up many a steep hill. We've both been made over several times, had to take massive detours in the road, failed, won, lost, gained. Thank God it's not been a competition but a partnership. I trust God to give him wisdom to lead our family, at the same time my sassy nature bips him in the nose and messes up all his plans. It's a challenge, this love. And though we are way flawed and mess up daily (hourly), I know that we are the luckiest of the lucky. Love is a battlefield, an ocean, a river, a haven. I never want to take it for granted.