I was in agony, some years ago. My stomach had been doing flip-flops for weeks and I finally wound up in the hospital. People torturing me every hour on the hour, waking me up ten times a night, dragging me down to the bowels of the place for testing, vampires draining me of my blood every morning and evening. I was scared. They said that I had pancreatitis and did I drink? Did I have my gallbladder? (No) -- so then I must drink a lot. No! You don't know me, but no! Meanwhile, my stomach. Thankfully a hospital is also a place where they have drugs for that (No! I don't do recreational drugs). So many questions.
In the midst of the confusion and agony was this guy. He hauled me down to the Urgent Care place, an hour away, then stayed up all night, asking the nurses and doctors all the questions that I didn't think to ask. They put me in an ambulance headed for the hospital. He made plans, called the right people, held my hand and rubbed my back, then tucked the covers around me when they finally gave me something for pain. After several days in the hospital, when things began to resolve, he held me quietly as my fears overtook me in the night. When we got home, he ran to the store for strange foods and liquids to help me through. When I got cabin fever he got me in the car and road us all over Carroll County, looking at land and houses (one of our favorite pastimes).
Love is very rarely like the movies. It's beautiful but then icky. The playing out of it over time is a roller coaster ride, where sometimes you'd like to jump off. Other times it's as soft as a kitten purring. We've made and squeezed out a bunch of babies, thrown things, yelled things, hugged, asked forgiveness, barely tolerated each other, laughed until we cried, toiled up many a steep hill. We've both been made over several times, had to take massive detours in the road, failed, won, lost, gained. Thank God it's not been a competition but a partnership. I trust God to give him wisdom to lead our family, at the same time my sassy nature bips him in the nose and messes up all his plans. It's a challenge, this love. And though we are way flawed and mess up daily (hourly), I know that we are the luckiest of the lucky. Love is a battlefield, an ocean, a river, a haven. I never want to take it for granted.
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