There are way too many cliches about grandbabies. People say that they are the best thing since sliced bread. They are so wonderful, we should have had them first. They are sinless, precious creatures, never meaning to do anything wrong. They are fun -- you don't have to be responsible but they're still yours. They always look like OUR side of the family. Their poop does not stink.
I'm afraid I have to tell you....it's all true.
The weirdest thing about grandbabies is that you look at them and realize that they really are part of you. And your husband. And your daughter-in-love's Mama and Daddy. And the great grandparents (all gozillion of them). It's this DNA strand, going back to Noah and the ark...and then back to Adam and Eve. But in this moment, this life, this baby is our flesh and blood. A miracle, derived from the results of many decisions, passions and the providence of God. If even one of those things were changed, this particular baby would not have been here. Even if the time of day or month changed, this baby would not have been here. One bullet in a centuries-long-ago war could have changed the fact of this baby's existence. God's mysteries puzzle and amaze me. He put this soul here, by the vortex of His hand.
We see a single life and wonder what it is worth. We measure money, fame, influence, abilities, stature.... but we have no clue what the measure of any life is really worth. It is a tapestry, with confusing and twisted threads all bunched up on the one side.....but an amazing picture on the other.
I look into the sweet bunny eyes of my two granddaughters. They have not yet spoken words. They cry a lot, eat a lot, poop a lot..... but in those eyes there are souls, not just babies. They are intricately and delicately made, mysteriously spun from two original strands of DNA, one from Daddy and one from Mama....passed down from the beginning of humanity.
It is a sacred trust. May that be a challenge and a promise to cherish and uphold the fragile gift of life.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
No you're wrong -- I love being fat
I really don't like to talk about my weight.
It's way obvious that I have a weight problem. It's virtually the elephant in the room. I'm laughing now. In my lifetime, a few naturally skinny people, or people who are way more disciplined than me have said some pretty incredible things....like, "Rose, you just need to start eating whole grains like brown rice, whole wheat bread, and eating more salads." Okay, just to put that one to rest.... I don't think I have ever bought one bag of white rice or white bread in 31 years of marriage. I love salad and eat it with great gusto. And a few gallons of blue cheese dressing to top it off. Another funny (not so, maybe) is people who will say to me, in a social setting, "Rose, here is some fat-free __________ -- or some sugar-free ____________." This really does make me want to laugh. I have been known to say back: "Now do I look like I eat fat-free or sugar-free stuff, particularly at parties?!!!" And the absolute worst thing that has ever been asked of me goes something like this: "Eh, well, um, Rose..... does Ken still, well, like, you know, wanna be with you, you know, even though you are fat?" There's that texting abbreviation ROFL (which means Rolling On the Floor Laughing). I might have had to do that that day.
I have a crappy metabolism, it is true. But that is not really my problem. If you have a bad metabolism, then you have to make adjustments to get your wheelbarrow back in balance. Apparently, I have not done that (the balance part). It is a fact of nature that if I were to eat air, I would eventually blow away. You don't get this kind of bulk without putting away some groceries. I have made observations, scientific ones, about this subject. We used to breed beautiful Golden Retrievers. One of our Goldens, Bethany, was always eating the house down. She would eat absolutely anything. You could throw a rock in the air and she would try to wolf it down. I believe she ate about twice what her sister, Chloe, consumed. And she was wiry and on the lean side. Chloe, on the other hand, was an easy keeper. She didn't eat that much and was always fat. She also wasn't as hyper as Bethany. They were both gorgeous dogs. A couple of times, they had puppies at the same time. Chloe's box of puppies was a mess. She was sweet and lovey to her pups...but she could not care less whether they were clean or not. Bethany was vigilant. She would clean her pups, then sneak over to Chloe's box and clean her pups too, as well as feed them. My sister, Melanie, says that men like their women the way they like their dogs, and that Brian really, really likes Border Collies. To that I said, yup, Ken likes me to act like a Golden Retriever -- happy, cute and obedient, ha! Two out of three ain't bad. I'll leave it to you to guess which two. We need to write a manual or something....
Back to it. When Ken married me, I was a svelte, tall blonde Bomber. I wore 4 inch Candies and had hair down to my waist. 31 years later, I am a fluffy (what a nice word), tall, artificially-blonde Barrel. Of laughs. That man loves the stuffin' out of me and I cannot believe my luck. I know the truth of God's amazing grace and it carries me every single day. I have known good times and bad, sorrow and unspeakable joy. By the world's estimation, by their outward measurements, I would be a failure. But in God's estimation, I am His, a beggar who was made into a princess.
Meanwhile, while I walk this cracked world, I wrestle with my flesh and my appetite. There have been years that I did not wrestle with it...I just gave in and rested, not worrying about it. There are whole books and websites dedicated to just that, telling you that you should eat to your heart's content and exercise, or not. That would be just dandy, except for several problems..... if you live to be at all old, and not even old.....your body revolts and begins hurting and chafing at the burden on it. And it HURTS, I'm tellin' ya. You lose opportunities of all kinds -- physical ones, spiritual ones, social ones (ah, the injustice) -- because of the extra padding. I'm somewhat oblivious to most of the social ones, but I'm told that they are there. That wouldn't be so bad, except that I have really good news in my heart that might be missed by someone who needs a friend and dismisses me because I'm crowding the sidewalk. Another problem is that, if you are a Christian, the Scripture talks (eeeek, several times) about the sin of gluttony. And it's not good. Now, from my scientific observations about my dogs....I have to come to a conclusion: what is gluttony for one person might not be gluttony for another person. It's just a fact of nature. If Bethany girl had eaten the same amount as Chloe, she would have starved to death. So....point made. Me and Chloe, we're buds.
I don't know how to make this problem (or sin) go away. I had a precious aunt who one day walked in and threw her cigarettes away. Just like that. She never smoked again and never wanted another one. God healed her of her addiction right then and there. I've known alcoholics healed in the same way. But I have never known a glutton healed instantly like that. Dear God, you can start with me! Part of the problem is that food is not a yes or no question. As addictive as cocaine or other drugs are, it's still a yes or no question. With food, it's what? where? when? how much? what do you combine it with? weigh it? measure it? and on and on.
What I want is a heart that understands and listens to my body and WANTS to consume what is right for me and what glorifies God. Sure, I want an instant fix. I want God to just zap me and make me understand and desire that. I may look sedentary, but I'm sort-of hyper and I want a quick fix. God hasn't given me that. I believe He wants me to depend on Him, and not on man's solutions or opinions. I can just say no to drugs or drunkenness.....I can stay faithful to my husband....there are many things that I have consistent victory in, most of them not too hard to navigate. But this.....this is different. At the same time, I do not want to be obsessed with it. I want to walk in God's goodness and freedom. I need this part of my heart changed. I have a rebellious side that does not want to obey....that says, "You can't tell me what to do!" Even though I flourished under a drill-sergeant coach in high school, if given any leeway at all I will deviate from the Program. What is that about? I don't know. But I am and have been asking God. And that....is that.
It's way obvious that I have a weight problem. It's virtually the elephant in the room. I'm laughing now. In my lifetime, a few naturally skinny people, or people who are way more disciplined than me have said some pretty incredible things....like, "Rose, you just need to start eating whole grains like brown rice, whole wheat bread, and eating more salads." Okay, just to put that one to rest.... I don't think I have ever bought one bag of white rice or white bread in 31 years of marriage. I love salad and eat it with great gusto. And a few gallons of blue cheese dressing to top it off. Another funny (not so, maybe) is people who will say to me, in a social setting, "Rose, here is some fat-free __________ -- or some sugar-free ____________." This really does make me want to laugh. I have been known to say back: "Now do I look like I eat fat-free or sugar-free stuff, particularly at parties?!!!" And the absolute worst thing that has ever been asked of me goes something like this: "Eh, well, um, Rose..... does Ken still, well, like, you know, wanna be with you, you know, even though you are fat?" There's that texting abbreviation ROFL (which means Rolling On the Floor Laughing). I might have had to do that that day.
I have a crappy metabolism, it is true. But that is not really my problem. If you have a bad metabolism, then you have to make adjustments to get your wheelbarrow back in balance. Apparently, I have not done that (the balance part). It is a fact of nature that if I were to eat air, I would eventually blow away. You don't get this kind of bulk without putting away some groceries. I have made observations, scientific ones, about this subject. We used to breed beautiful Golden Retrievers. One of our Goldens, Bethany, was always eating the house down. She would eat absolutely anything. You could throw a rock in the air and she would try to wolf it down. I believe she ate about twice what her sister, Chloe, consumed. And she was wiry and on the lean side. Chloe, on the other hand, was an easy keeper. She didn't eat that much and was always fat. She also wasn't as hyper as Bethany. They were both gorgeous dogs. A couple of times, they had puppies at the same time. Chloe's box of puppies was a mess. She was sweet and lovey to her pups...but she could not care less whether they were clean or not. Bethany was vigilant. She would clean her pups, then sneak over to Chloe's box and clean her pups too, as well as feed them. My sister, Melanie, says that men like their women the way they like their dogs, and that Brian really, really likes Border Collies. To that I said, yup, Ken likes me to act like a Golden Retriever -- happy, cute and obedient, ha! Two out of three ain't bad. I'll leave it to you to guess which two. We need to write a manual or something....
Back to it. When Ken married me, I was a svelte, tall blonde Bomber. I wore 4 inch Candies and had hair down to my waist. 31 years later, I am a fluffy (what a nice word), tall, artificially-blonde Barrel. Of laughs. That man loves the stuffin' out of me and I cannot believe my luck. I know the truth of God's amazing grace and it carries me every single day. I have known good times and bad, sorrow and unspeakable joy. By the world's estimation, by their outward measurements, I would be a failure. But in God's estimation, I am His, a beggar who was made into a princess.
Meanwhile, while I walk this cracked world, I wrestle with my flesh and my appetite. There have been years that I did not wrestle with it...I just gave in and rested, not worrying about it. There are whole books and websites dedicated to just that, telling you that you should eat to your heart's content and exercise, or not. That would be just dandy, except for several problems..... if you live to be at all old, and not even old.....your body revolts and begins hurting and chafing at the burden on it. And it HURTS, I'm tellin' ya. You lose opportunities of all kinds -- physical ones, spiritual ones, social ones (ah, the injustice) -- because of the extra padding. I'm somewhat oblivious to most of the social ones, but I'm told that they are there. That wouldn't be so bad, except that I have really good news in my heart that might be missed by someone who needs a friend and dismisses me because I'm crowding the sidewalk. Another problem is that, if you are a Christian, the Scripture talks (eeeek, several times) about the sin of gluttony. And it's not good. Now, from my scientific observations about my dogs....I have to come to a conclusion: what is gluttony for one person might not be gluttony for another person. It's just a fact of nature. If Bethany girl had eaten the same amount as Chloe, she would have starved to death. So....point made. Me and Chloe, we're buds.
I don't know how to make this problem (or sin) go away. I had a precious aunt who one day walked in and threw her cigarettes away. Just like that. She never smoked again and never wanted another one. God healed her of her addiction right then and there. I've known alcoholics healed in the same way. But I have never known a glutton healed instantly like that. Dear God, you can start with me! Part of the problem is that food is not a yes or no question. As addictive as cocaine or other drugs are, it's still a yes or no question. With food, it's what? where? when? how much? what do you combine it with? weigh it? measure it? and on and on.
What I want is a heart that understands and listens to my body and WANTS to consume what is right for me and what glorifies God. Sure, I want an instant fix. I want God to just zap me and make me understand and desire that. I may look sedentary, but I'm sort-of hyper and I want a quick fix. God hasn't given me that. I believe He wants me to depend on Him, and not on man's solutions or opinions. I can just say no to drugs or drunkenness.....I can stay faithful to my husband....there are many things that I have consistent victory in, most of them not too hard to navigate. But this.....this is different. At the same time, I do not want to be obsessed with it. I want to walk in God's goodness and freedom. I need this part of my heart changed. I have a rebellious side that does not want to obey....that says, "You can't tell me what to do!" Even though I flourished under a drill-sergeant coach in high school, if given any leeway at all I will deviate from the Program. What is that about? I don't know. But I am and have been asking God. And that....is that.
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