You're A Mean One...

I'm trying to figure out what we did before Amazon came along. My sister was the first person that I knew that bought from them, way on back there. I looked at it online and thought, meh, why pay for shipping? Then they figured out that people would still pay for shipping but in a monthly subscription, so they wouldn't notice that they were still paying for shipping. I'm now totally dependent on them for say, that elusive container of mascara that I misplaced, or some delicious, crunchy, non-GMO Amish popcorn that I can't get at the Walmart. Every year, when tax-time rolls around and I have to account for all my spending, I bow my head in shame at the amount of money that passes through my fingers via clicks on that Amazon site. I vow to do better next year. Then I also wonder how they're making money on that shipping part, when I have to make bonfires out of all the boxes that have overrun my house. Apologies to my neighbors, but at least I'm not crowding up the landfill? 

Christmas is upon us, with less than three weeks to go. Once again, I'm late to the party. Thank the Lord for Amazon, however. I've got a massive cold (or something) and can't breathe, so I sat on the porch and ordered most of our grandchildren's gifts within an hour. That should be criminal, but it's not. It's perfectly legal to be that lazy and sit in my rocker and order wonderful things that will be delivered right to our door within a day or two. With all this extra time on my hands, why haven't I put up our tree yet? There've been years that I did it the day after Halloween. There have also been years that I decorated six other peoples' trees as well as my own, while painting a couple of peoples' houses in between Halloween and Christmas.  It's all Amazon's fault. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. My Grandma didn't have Amazon and she just put up one of those little ceramic trees that you plug in. The other Grandma didn't put up anything. I wanna be a Grandma. Oh yeah, I am.

Therefore, I will decorate. I will. And attend all the requisite parties, soirees, concerts and general hoopla that goes along with it. I'll at least show up, if I can find a way to get some oxygen through my nostrils in the next few days. The Grinch will be defeated!