Falling Forward

I was holding his giant, gnarled, ancient hand as he writhed in pain, begging me to pull him up out of the hospital bed. It was my Father-in-law, who had broken his hip earlier in the day. The two kegs of morphine that they had pushed into his vein were doing nothing to help him. This, a man whom I've never heard complain about hurting except to say his shoulder was grumpy. Even with that, he won't generally take anything to make it feel better. He's a tough old Navy SeaBee, still strong as an ox at 90 years old. I felt like I was wrestling a bear for a bit there, as the fog of dementia further added to his confusion. Before the doctor found the sweet spot of pain relief for him, I tried my best to comfort and explain to him what was happening. Minute-by-minute, the words rolled back out of his brain and the pain overwhelmed all reason left in there. Alzheimer's has to be one of the cruelest diseases, stripping one of dignity or purpose.  Lucky were my MawMaw and my Daddy, both dying with their boots on in their recliners. We don't like to talk about death, but it's a thing. And it's a-coming. 

Climbing back into the car with my son, Jon, and his family, who had also visited my daughter-in-love's sister who happened to be at the same hospital...I was struck by the blessing of children. There were four shining faces -- happy, laughing, fresh, waiting on us. I wanted to squeeze the stuffing out of them. I was reminded of my Grandma Betty's death, where our 3-month-old firstborn (yes, Jon) and I rode all the way to Illinois with my folks for the funeral. He was fussy and full of sauce on that trip, but the old ladies said hearing those sounds made them feel hopeful. Life goes on. I get that now. Harvest moon looming big overhead. 

This week looks to be another insane one at the Norton house. Besides Ken's Daddy's surgery and a few procedures ourselves, our tile guy decided to jump ahead of schedule and will start tiling our kitchen, laundry and pantry tomorrow. We've been waiting for him for a couple of months, so no one's complaining. Our son Daniel rescued us this morning and arrived to move appliances out of the house and bring his personal comedy show while he was at it. He could make money making people laugh, if he so chose. Daughter Liz sent cute videos of two of the grands, bringing more sunshine to the horizon. We're planning on visiting son Jesse and his family later on the week, if possible. There will be four more jolly little faces there, as well as a whole passel of puppies. Puppies are always good. Things are looking up.