What happens when birds fly the nest? They spread their wings and land in new places, starting their own nests. My sister and I grew up as thick as thieves, barely stopping our stream-of-consciousness speak, not even while we were showering or trying to sleep. There was so much to discuss and figure out. I am lucky and grateful that I had a sister like that, to share life with and filter the world by. She is the younger, but really the more grown-up, or at least the most driven. I was a second mother to her, feeling responsible to shelter and protect her...but she arrived with plenty of grit of her own. She walked out with an agenda and heaven help anyone who stands in her way. She is a force of nature
For many years, after we married and started having bucketloads of children, our paths were side-by-side, right along with our parents' paths. I had much guilt if I ever departed from what they thought was the right thing to do, and their wisdom and insight will guide me all my days. But God didn't tell us to be cookie cutters of our folks. He said, "leave and cleave" when you hitch your wagon to a spouse.
Over time, the agendas of our families began to take slightly different trails. My husband was focused on our children being physically trained in the trades. College was good, but not mandatory. Survival skills and hard work were the bedrock of our family, though my agenda for them also majored on history, biblical thinking and classical music. My sister's family was honed in on speech training, college, music and performing arts. Very different routes. We humans have compulsions that lead us to our choices and directions...and I think there's a grand plan in that. If we have no purpose, what's the point? We are not bags of chemicals randomly slogging through the mist.
As she and I diverged on our treks, we have always still stayed close, though it gets much more difficult when you add layers of in-laws and grandchildren to the mix. This weekend, her daughter Olivia (my niece) invited me to join her wedding party up in the mountains of North Georgia for a bachelorette weekend. What a special young lady, who would invite her Mom and creaky-jointed aunt to hang out with all those pretty girls. There were also three of her bridesmaids who brought their nursing babies with them. There was laughter, food, sleep, and oh-so-much talk. We cooed over the babies, shopped and pondered the deeper things of life. As usually happens, anytime a party or event breaks up, things get condensed and said right at the last. We gathered on the porch, taking pictures and working on our goodbyes. I hugged my dear, sweet niece, as luminous and beautiful as an angel. Emotions charged over me right in that moment: the first time I saw her, a dewy, pink baby with huge blue eyes and a massive dimple in her cheek. Then there was the rush of her life, ...the babyhood, the cute and silly years of Olivia-isms, the requisite awkward years with her clumpty-walk and long limbs all akimbo. Then the literal flower that bloomed into the most luscious of blossoms, inside and out. I felt the pain and the glory of the future - starting a life in a few weeks in another state with her new husband. All the unknowns, along with the adventures still to come. Right then, I felt her young heart, exhilarated and scared at the same time. Tears came easily as we hugged and then let go.
The birds, they fly to their nests. We see them from afar, not as closely as we once did. I go home to my quiet study, missing my own children terribly although they are close by. Their nests are abuzz with their fledglings, life bursting out like rays. They are the future, filled with energy and hope and sauce. Happy, fleeting days.
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