Dr Denmark Said It!

I was scared out of my wits. I had just delivered a ten and a half pound man-child who seemed to never stop screaming. Even though I loved children, I felt completely unprepared for the massive responsibility that was my own baby. I so wanted to be a good mother, to do it perfectly. I loved him instantly, the depths were astonishing to me upon arrival. I had a dream the first night that somebody mixed him up with another child in the nursery...but in my dream I recognized him already, as well as his lusty rebel yell. To this day, I've never heard a child that could holler like that boy did. Earth-shattering, piercing, loud as a siren. 

The first day home, my Mama volunteered to stay with us. We thought we could handle it, so we turned her down. The next day, Papa Bear discreetly called and asked her to come on over. There isn't a whole lot that a Grandma can do for a nursing baby except change and rock him a little, but she sure can do a lot for her daughter. We cried together when he just couldn't be soothed. When the sun came up, we headed out for his first doctor visit. That was the day that I finally met The Legend.

She was tiny, with wispy white hair pinned up in a bun. Her wizened face and stooped shoulders belied all the knowledge and wisdom residing in that one miniature body. She was the third woman to graduate with a medical degree from the Medical College of Georgia. She was candid, but kind. Intimidating but quiet. A force of nature. When she spoke, we  listened. She had almost a cult following of young mothers, women who wanted answers to their persistent questions about how to care for and raise their children. Her name was Dr. Leila Denmark. She practiced until she was 103 years old, and died at the remarkable age of 114 (and 60 days). 

The day I met her, she handed me a little slip of paper with instructions on it for a newborn. She looked him over and told me he was going to be six-foot-six (he is). Her old-fashioned methods might have seemed quaint and outdated to some, but I followed her directions as closely as I could. Our four children grew strong, healthy and smart under her wise advice. Hers was not just a rote path, but an inspired philosophy that viewed children as a gift from God and motherhood the highest calling in the world. She often used that old quote: "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." I always went away from her office feeling emboldened about the importance of my job, and secure in the methods that she gave me to help make our home more ordered in the midst of the chaos. She was a tough cookie, but she made me feel like a million bucks when she bragged on our bouncing, healthy babies. Her book, Every Child Should Have A Chance, is almost impossible to obtain. It has a few antiquated ways of saying things, but the inspiration and intelligence in that book is worth more than gold. 

We went to Dr. Denmark for years until she moved further out, to Alpharetta. I went to another pediatrician but would see her when I needed a second opinion. She was always uncannily correct in her advice. She was so old, so wise, so smart -- she had seen everything at that point. It was very dumb to ignore what she had to say. Once, I neglected her advice about a procedure for our daughter, and it could have cost her her life. I was never cavalier again about the things that she told me. There's a book out now that is written by another mother who went to Dr. D for many years (and many children)...named Dr Denmark Said It. And that's how it was. If Dr. Denmark said it, you had better do it. She hated pacifiers, not for the reasons you might think. She said that we shouldn't pacify our babies but should nurture them carefully into facing the world. One time she said (to a mother who didn't get the paci-memo), "Now you need to take that pacifier out of that baby's mouth. If you keep pacifying her, when she's 16 and her boyfriend breaks up with her, she's going to jump off the Candler building." We still howl at that. Besides the "controversial" philosophy of the pacifier, it was humorous that the highest building in Dr. D's mind was the relatively short, 17-floor Candler building. But she was around when it was built, so there. 

All these years later (34 to be exact), I think that the things she taught me and us were priceless. She preached nutrition, exercise, fresh air, healthy living and showed me exactly how to administer that to my children. But the most important thing I learned was that I had been given a sacred trust with them. She highly valued God and human life. One day she said to me, "Even if I had to live in a gutter, what a glorious thing it would be to open my eyes and see that beautiful sky. There's so much to be thankful for." She helped thousands of babies and families over all those years, saving many lives with her care. I'm eternally grateful that I got to sit at her feet for a spell.