Backwards Wisdom

Trials seem to come in bunches. There's a saying that if you're not in a storm, there's one on its way. I don't have to enumerate our recent monsoons here...suffice it to say, I have felt like our boat has been swamped and there's another wave a-comin'. We all go through these things. Life is fraught with the ebb and flow of all that is good and bad. I believe that the worst thing we can do is to compare ourselves with others and their fortunes. God didn't ask me to go down their path and they don't have to go down mine, though we can hold each other steady and help bear each others' burdens. 

That is what my dear friends have done for me: A midnight text that turns into a 2-hour call; a flurry of thoughtful cards, arriving just at the right time; a morning breakfast date where I get to vent and cry; a container of wildflowers to cheer my heart; hugs that melt the frost off; shared stories and tears. Our technology threatens to undo us, but sometimes it reaches right across the static to be used for blessing. 

Thanksgiving weekend was a virtual whirlwind. My side of the family gathered at my sister's house, where there had to be close to a hundred folks and some of the best food I've ever eaten. We all sat with our plates mounded, savoring every bite then returning for more. There was a lot of love put into that food. You could taste it. Then on Friday my children and their spouses and children came here, ate, pulled 'round our table like so many sardines. We each shared what we were thankful for, then our youth-pastor-son pulled out thought-provoking questions. We laughed and cried and kidded each other, drawn together like warm puppies on a cold night. There were the ballgames on Saturday and then church on Sunday. I might still need another nap. 

Giving thanks started for me a few days before the holiday. I was about to come apart, physically and emotionally, and (truthfully) spiritually. Doubts, depression, crankiness ensued. I remembered what God says about being grateful. His recipe isn't like ours. He's kind-of backwards about it. He says things like "the last shall be first, and the first, last." He says where we are weak, He is strong. He also says that we are to give thanks in all things. All means everything, not just the goody in the middle. I sat quietly in my warm chair, musing on the many wonderful things I am blessed with. I thanked Him for those. I also percolated over all the bad things that have made this year hellish. My faith is so weak, but I'm asking Him for more. I stepped on out there and started thanking Him for all the icky parts, the things that hurt, that don't make sense. That have no cure. A funny thing happened. My heart began to lighten, my eyes broadened as I had a tiny glimpse of His love, that sovereign love that is weaving the most intricate of tapestries where all we can see is tangled threads and mischief. That's an old illustration, but it still says it all. Thanksgiving. Not for the faint of heart.