Fighting the Minions

We're all staring at the New Year -- I feel hopeful and at the same time have some trepidation about all that a new year can bring. We have things we want to change, things we would like to do, adventures we'd like to take. Some folks want to poo-poo those things and will say things like resolutions, plans and goals are just dumb ideas that don't take flight. I do not agree. Ken and I, many years ago, had resolutions in our hearts that didn't happen overnight, many took decades to accomplish....but we kept resolving each year to keep trying. Some years absolutely nothing happened in regards to particular goals and sometimes we even went backwards. But I tell you, it's wise to keep plugging, to look closely and to keep fighting for the things that we should do or want to do, within reason. 2016 was a nutso time, on so many levels. Ken lost his job in April, ending with three months of unemployment. I was working hard but also didn't have a closing during those three months. Despite those setbacks, the Lord took care of us and we were even able to finally achieve a 30+-year old goal by the end of the year: to be entirely debt free.

As I stare at my bellybutton these last few days of 2016 (never mind, I can't see on the other side of that appendage) I am thinking of what my "why's" are. A friend of mine lost her mother recently. She talked to me about how she wrestled with anger because her mother would not quit smoking, which eventually led to her death. I told her, "I'm killing myself too...with oh so many snacks." Are my kids going to be mad if I don't find a way to wrestle down this demon? Probably. It's my annual resolution to do just that. I've had a few brief seasons of victory, only to succumb to defeat every time. So here I go again. I simply have to keep fighting. It took us 30 years to get out of debt. Maybe this is the year.

As the world turns and people go about their lives, change can happen slowly or it can turn in a moment. We often get lulled into thinking that things will always stay the same. Bad idea. As we go forward, we should glance at the past, hope (and plan) for the future, and live in the now. Really live. We're not promised tomorrow and we can't fix yesterday. I have a bad habit of running from fire to fire, putting out what is urgent but not slowing down enough to savor today. Next thing you know, that kid is married and having his own kid. Or the old neighbor died before I got to tell her how much she meant to me. Or the shop down the street closed because I didn't take to buying birthday gifts there and spreading the word. Opportunities missed. The moon keeps rising each night but I didn't look at it. Slowing down means that something else has to be let go of. "No" has to be said to the lesser things. One of my sons reminded me this weekend that the priority needs to be the people. Yes, but the bathroom needs to be scrubbed. And the people have to be fed. It's a constant balancing act between keeping the rows straight and taking time to dance with my folk. Distractions and social media would like to steal all my stray minutes. But here's hoping I can learn to slay those minions. Let's have a year of mindful work and relationships. And to God be the glory.