Stillness. There it is. From rushing here and yon, planning, preparing, going, doing.... it is rare. If I look for it, I can find it. That's easy to say, now that my four children are grown. I can remember when a trip to the bathroom was fraught with perils beyond the door lock. You never knew what was going to happen and what you might miss, just because of your tiny escape to the bathroom. I used to keep a Reader's Digest in there, because you could read a whole book in about 20 minutes, if you were fast. So I learned to read lightning quick. And type like a woodpecker. And fold clothes like it was a contest. All those Wonder Woman skills that I remember seeing my Mama churn out in record time....I would ask her, "How do you do that so fast?" She'd say, "Lots and lots of practice." Eventually I became the skilled one because I had so much practice it was scary. There's not a lot of room for perfectionism when life is going on without you if you don't get all the mundane things whipped out in a jiffy.
On another note... (but talking about Reader's Digest made me think about it). The Library. Oh how I love the library and books. Back in the van-full-of-kids days, I'd get two armloads, one for me and one for our kids. We'd carry them home in a milk crate. I still like to read 4-5 books simultaneously, one in each bathroom, one beside the bed, one in the living room by my chair.... The number of bathrooms in our house has always dictated how many I might be reading at any given time. Oh yeah, and there's the tub adventures too. One day, years ago, I asked my brother to borrow a book and he wouldn't let me read it. He told me that he would only be buying me books from now on, and that I would not be borrowing any more from him. I was offended until he told me that the last book I borrowed came back looking like one of those old Reader's Digest Christmas trees we used to make out of folded books....not to mention that it also had bite marks on the cover. He checked and said that the bites were definitely human and definitely adult-sized. How can I help it if the book slips into the tub while I'm trying to balance my bowl of ice cream in the other hand, leading to two memorable events, one involving a hair dryer and the other resulting in bite marks? He's been true on his promise to buy me books, thankfully, and they're always the good ones. I relish reading them whenever and however I like.
On another note... (but talking about Reader's Digest made me think about it). The Library. Oh how I love the library and books. Back in the van-full-of-kids days, I'd get two armloads, one for me and one for our kids. We'd carry them home in a milk crate. I still like to read 4-5 books simultaneously, one in each bathroom, one beside the bed, one in the living room by my chair.... The number of bathrooms in our house has always dictated how many I might be reading at any given time. Oh yeah, and there's the tub adventures too. One day, years ago, I asked my brother to borrow a book and he wouldn't let me read it. He told me that he would only be buying me books from now on, and that I would not be borrowing any more from him. I was offended until he told me that the last book I borrowed came back looking like one of those old Reader's Digest Christmas trees we used to make out of folded books....not to mention that it also had bite marks on the cover. He checked and said that the bites were definitely human and definitely adult-sized. How can I help it if the book slips into the tub while I'm trying to balance my bowl of ice cream in the other hand, leading to two memorable events, one involving a hair dryer and the other resulting in bite marks? He's been true on his promise to buy me books, thankfully, and they're always the good ones. I relish reading them whenever and however I like.
Back to the Library. Libraries would be just peachy if it weren't for those people they employ, Librarians. Librarians do not like me. I don't understand that. I exude much joy and happiness when I walk in there. Most people really do like me. I adore books, acres of them. And so do Librarians, correct? They are always nice when I first come in, and then they seem to get upset when I don't bring books back, when I make too much noise in there, and especially when I do bring the books back but they have bite marks on them. One day I brought back my truckload of books and they were quite late...so late that I had a fine of $12.10. I had $12 but not 10 cents. I assumed she'd be merciful (why would I think that?) and I took an hour to pick out another bucket of books, but when I failed to come up with the extra 10 cents, the Librarian wouldn't let me check them out. I went to my truck and dug around, asked a couple of people for a dime and then began begging on the sidewalk. There was no money to be found. Maybe those black helicopters hovering over the library weren't just looking for marijuana fields. She refused to let me take the books home. That was the day I began to wonder if it was time to move, since apparently my cover had been blown. I mean, how many times does a book actually get read? Surely only a few, right? Especially if they're paperbacks. They get read a couple of times then go in the 25-cent bin, where I buy them and then trade them in at the used book store for more books. Why would I keep most books? I'm only planning on reading them once, maybe, maybe twice, unless it's the Bible, so why all the hostility? Either way, when we moved to Villa Rica, I don't think the Librarians here got the memo, so somehow I have been able to remain incognito for three and a half years. Maybe it's because I've gained some Ninja-Library-Sneaking skills. I don't know and here I am now, risking my cover again. Meanwhile, if I call you a Librarian it probably means that you are much more reverent and obedient than I and I probably do not understand you. And of course you don't understand me. Since I don't actually call anyone that to their face, maybe it will go well and I won't get tarred and feathered soon. Many apologies to all decent and good Librarians that I may (and surely) have offended in this life. You are truly better than me and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could be that good. And please understand that I'm a very sarcastic person and that God's gonna get me for all my Library Sins. I don't think those are on the 7-worst-sins list, but I'm pretty sure they're still sins.
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