The Universality of Womens' Birth Experiences

Yaya's Guide to the Mysteries of the Universe

It is a mysterious fact: once you are pregnant, you belong to a universal women's club. Your body becomes public property. Amazingly, people in stores and on the street feel the freedom to put their hands on your belly and ask you nosy questions about your personal life. They also begin to tell you their birth experiences, whether you ask or not. If it happens to be your first pregnancy, you will recoil at the horrific things that happen to other women. What you might not know yet, and will quickly learn, is that most birth experiences are over-dramatized when seen through the eyes of a mother who has endured the great rite of passage that is birthing a baby. I have had women that I have just met -- in grocery stores, doctor's offices, churches, on the street, on the phone, in parking lots, online,  in business meetings, at baby showers, wedding showers, weddings, funerals, pretty much anywhere....tell me their garish and hyper-detailed birth experiences. And I admit, I have told more than my share of the same. It is a unifying experience that bonds women together like nothing else. Ken began to be astonished at this phenomenon early in our marriage, amazed that complete strangers would give those kinds of details out as easily as giving directions to the gas station. It's actually quite humorous. If I had written all those experiences down, we'd have a funny book. 

With all three of my daughter-in-loves blessing us with (now) four grandbabies, I am remembering many details of my seven pregnancies and four births. It is like they happened yesterday and much of it is still fresh, delightful, or painful. I recall that my mother had a late cycle and pondered if she were possibly pregnant when I was pregnant with Jon, our first. A sympathetic pregnancy, perhaps?  Stories spilled out from her, stories I had never heard.... the shared experiences of bearing a child warmed the bond between us. My two grandmothers did the same, sharing details of their lives that I heretofore had no clue about. Now that I'm the Yaya, I'm talking to these younger women and I can tell that they are shocked that us dinosaurs went through the same experiences.

The beauty and miracle of conception and growing a child in your womb is a mixed bag. You are so tired that you cannot believe you got yourself into this. Many women are sick beyond comprehension, though I was fortunate to inherit my mother's iron stomach and did not experience that part of it. You are scared stiff that you have made a mistake, that you don't have what it takes to raise a child. I was scared I would be too easy on my children and they'd end up utter brats. It is an overwhelming place in your life, full of anticipation, wonder and trepidation, all at the same time. I used to read the Psalms and Proverbs that spoke of God's love for children, just to reassure myself that we weren't crazy...verses like: "You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, and they leave their abundance to their infants."  Ps. 17:14...and-"I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread." 26 "He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing." (from Ps. 37) There are countless verses and affirmations of God's love toward the whole subject of children and infants. Those helped to reassure me that God had our backs, but I still remember the overarching sense of being inadequate for the huge job we were facing. Our children are now grown, with full years behind us. It is easy to forget many of the details and difficulties. We blinked and it went by. Now the circle of life comes back around and we see the grandbabies springing forth in rounded tummies, the joy and anticipation of the future, the uncertainty of all that is to come, the young couples working it all out. It is mysterious, ancient, and sacred. The earth revolves, the sun and moon and stars continue to shine, the seasons come and go. Babies are born, loved ones die, everything in-between happens and it starts over. The exquisite pain and joy of this life manifests itself in tiny details. There are intricacies and patterns that show that this doesn't just "happen." We have a brief time here on earth. So brief. I throw my hands up and tell Him how glorious I think it all is, but I can only say so much. I think I might just burst. Or bust, as we say down here.