The Steady

Who doesn't love a good romance movie or book? Intrigue, tension, resolution and then there's the happily-ever-after. 

I am a voracious reader. I like to have 4-5 books going at the same time. Usually they're at my "stations," right by my various sets of reading glasses. Stations include: the recliner where I sit next to Ken, the big double-chair where I read my Bible in the morning, a spot beside my bed, a big armchair in our bedroom, and then, of course, the bathroom (that quiet cave that all Mamas learn early to appreciate). When they invented the Kindle apparatus, however, it changed the world forever. I can have hundreds of books all in one place at my fingertips. Why is it that "they" always seem to find ways to tell us that something, especially if it's newfangled, is bad for us? I saw a study recently that found that Kindles and phones and tablets actually inhibit learning -- that we absorb the information way better if we put our hands on the pages, and that it is better for our brains. I need all the help I can get in that department. That doesn't mean I'm giving up my Kindle, even if I might try harder to aim for physical books. What a treat it is to furtively read by the soft glow of a device while my husband is snoring right next to me. There's definitely something delightful about a good beach read, where the pages get rumply and sand finds its way into the spine. I think of many summers where I have lolled about with a good book on a blanket and gotten a tan while also being transported to far-flung places and adventures. Once our children were old enough to fend for themselves, the reading quadrupled. I hope they forgive me. 

Back to the romance category. Even though many people love them, I lean away. I've got more than I can handle at the house, and I don't need some fairy tale notion of love that has little to do with the sinner I live with (and the debauched one he lives with) -- but to each his own. The idea of romantic love is heady at times, like a roller coaster often, but the test of real love includes the steady, faithful walking over time. Through fire, water, trials, euphoria, delight and even boredom. I've been around the sun enough times to know that if you hang in there, you will get the experience of many different parts of your spouse and yourself, over the span of years and decades. Usually one of you is the nerd and one is the free spirit, but not always. The sandpaper of each others' personalities and foibles are the things that can make your teeth grind and the application of patience seem impossible. 

In these days, buzz words are everywhere: toxic, boundaries, narcissism, "my truth," and "I am enough." We're imperfect, struggling people, at least on the planet I'm living on. We need each other and have been helped all of our lives in myriad ways, even if we've existed in very difficult circumstances. What is romantic is when we find a way to love and forgive each other in the middle of being a mess, which we all actually are (if you could see inside our complicated, irregular selves).

I know only one way to do that, and I am the receiver of so much grace. There is a Fountain...