Goldfish, Sparrows and Me

Granddaughter Annabelle stood at the edge of our little pond, pointing and jabbering. From my comfy chair on the porch, I told her that, yes, I knew a tiny frog lived in there. She yelled, "Yaya! Someboogachaha fishies!" Or something like that. I peered into the murky water and there were two jewel-toned goldfish and then an apricot-colored one. How was this possible?! One year ago, almost to the day, something went wrong with our pond. We came home from a week of vacation to find that a hose had popped off, the water had drained out, and the pump had quit working. I assumed it overheated. When we discovered the mess, all my little goldfish were laying on top of the mud, dead. I had bought about a dozen of them from the pet store and they had thrived just fine, until there was no more water to swim in. Sadly, I placed their little limp bodies around some of our plants to fertilize them. Even though the pump was ruined, I filled the pond back up and hoped it wouldn't become a mosquito breeding factory. Over the course of a year, the water hyacinths took over, baby frogs erupted and it remained a pleasant place by our front porch. The only movement I ever saw was from a happy frog, jumping in and out. Until the other day, when Annabelle gave notice and we saw the (now quite large) and glittering goldfish emerging from the winter sludge. I cannot imagine how they survived the ordeal. When it happened, all we saw was thick mud and dead fish that had apparently been there several days. Somehow they must have been under all that, maybe in a pocket of water, to live through it. Either way, they remained undetected for a year. When spring came, they started eating up all the dormant water plants and we were finally able to notice them.

How many times is life like that? What appears to be an impossible situation, muck and mire, fire and rain, piles of troubles, trials and sorrows... insurmountable odds stacked against us. Yet one day we find ourselves swimming in clear waters. We can see the sky. There's food, water, happy frogs chirping. I don't know. Life goes on. We see around us death and life. We recently went to the funeral of a friend whose life was cut short. I looked around the room at the people, babies, old folks and wondered why this one has to go now, and how does the mind of God work as He sifts the sands of time? Our pastor's wife wrote a beautiful commentary on the ancient oak tree outside...about how much grief that tree had seen come and go. I've seen what time does to the body and to the mind, how it disrespects us and tears away at brain cells and tissue. Getting old adds to all these wonderful layers of life experience, but it also begins to speed everything up and we grasp at the moments as they whiz by. The kaleidoscope gets blurry and we can miss the preciousness of it if we don't make ourselves stop and savor the many aromas, both good and bad. Without knowing God, I don't know how anyone has hope or purpose and meaning. Someday, as my world winds down and time steals my brain cells -- or if I simply drop dead in my tracks and then become fertilizer, I look forward to fully knowing the One that I already know. The cycle and symbiosis of this magnificent, intricate world are not here simply by chance and it wasn't designed without a Designer. He is mercy and truth, love and justice, untethered by man's opinions of who He is supposed to be. I am at His mercy, but am also an undeserving recipient of His grace. "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows..." Luke 12:6-7