Blowin' In The Wind

I plunked my way through several years of piano lessons. My dear teacher, Elsie McDow, had to be the patron saint of piano students. She was patient and tolerant of my distracted childhood. I had the initial necessities: a musical soul and good hand-eye coordination, but my lack of discipline and ever-evolving string of new interests kept me from advancing to where I could have gone. My parents were wise in their teaching us to stick to things, even when the going got rough. So I stuck to it for six years. I still love the piano and occasionally whip out my classical favorites on dreamy afternoons. Between my 8th and 9th grade year, I begged for a flute. My folks rented one from Ken Stanton for $5 a month. They told me I had a year to work at it on my own or they'd send it back. With a standard band book and an old hymnal, I worked hard to learn it that summer. Basic flute playing isn't hard, especially if you can already read music. I loved sitting out in the open and playing the lovely hymns. When school started back, I joined the band. I had never played with a group before. Being as I am a social creature, that seemed like a lot of fun, if I could stop talking long enough to play. I remember the first day of class, when the director held up his hands for quiet, and then had us play those warm-up notes. It was magic. A hundred other people, all playing together. As time marched on and we learned to work as one orchestra, I recall the inexplicable buzz that all the harmonies coming together gave me. I had played many times on athletic teams, understanding how we had to cooperate in order to make things happen. But there is simply nothing like a clan of musicians combining their songs into a whole. Music is of heaven, where angels sing and praise rises. No wonder there are titles like "American Idol" -- because music is intimately acquainted with worship. 

I've continued to play my flute all these years, teaching lessons to young players to help buy extras, when our budget was tight. I've also always played at church, enjoying that hymnal and the accompanying voices of exuberant Christian brethren. When we first moved to Villa Rica in 2012, I joined up with the Carroll Community Wind Ensemble, headed by Terry Lowry (Conductor for the Carroll Symphony Orchestra). It was blissful to be back playing with a band and at the same time torturous because the music was so difficult I had to practice every day. I played with gusto with them for years, until 2018, when my Daddy suddenly died. I was overrun with grief, health issues and still had to find a way to work. I cut everything out of my life that was non-essential. I thought I'd take a semester hiatus, but it turned into two years that went by like a blink.

Come to find out, music is essential. It prompts, surrounds, fills and oozes out of some of us. My guilty pleasure has become my necessary medicine. I'm going back tonight, humble and sheepish. I've been playing at church all this time, but nothing that requires practice. I'm up for the challenge now, leaner and wiser, even with the virus scaring us all to death. Some things are worth making time for, even if they appear to be frivolous. Sing on, old heart...

Cool, Clean Water

It's so hot and muggy, all I can think about is water. I don't want to think about sickness, riots or global warming. I would love to submerge myself in a cool, clean body of water and float for a few hours, or days. 

When I was a child, I was deathly afraid of the water. We lived a half mile from Sun Valley Beach in Powder Springs, which was really an overgrown pond that somebody had concreted in years before. I played in the shallow end, but shrieked at anyone who tried to make me get deeper. My Daddy tried and tried to get me to learn to swim but I was terrified. One very hot summer, when some of our Yankee family was visiting and there was no air conditioning, our dear uncle bought us a 3-foot pool and installed it in the backyard. I remembering him sweating bullets while he worked on it. We thought we'd died and gone to heaven. My sister and I basically lived in it for the rest of that summer and several more after that. Daddy eventually bought us a fancy 4-foot pool and attached it to the deck right outside the house, so we could jump in without getting grass all over our feet and in the pool. Somewhere in there, I learned to swim and I learned to love the water.

When I was twelve years old, I started working at Sun Valley, teaching swimming lessons. Eventually I got my Senior Lifesaving and became a lifeguard. I lived for that 15-minute break each hour, where I could swim to my heart's content. I recall crazy near-drownings: A set of twins that were drowning right by their Mama in three feet of water. That was easy -- I just picked them both up. Their Mama acted mad at me. I guess she thought I was overreacting, or maybe she was just embarrassed. I found that to be a common reaction, when I rescued a young 'un when their parents were close by. It happened several times in my years as a lifeguard. The weirdest rescue was when some highly intelligent teenager tied one of the Tarzan ropes around his leg and then attempted to reach the next rope, but failed. That left him hanging plumb upside down, with his head under the water. Actually, before I could get to him, two girls pushed him up far enough and he was able to get loose. He had a nasty whelp on his leg and a really bad attitude when he walked by my chair. Pride goeth before the fall.

The most epic rescue happened one afternoon when I wasn't on duty but was picking up my check. I was at the concession stand when I heard a commotion at the water. The owner was running pell-mell across the sand, leapt into the water, swam like mad and then dove down into the deep. He surfaced, dragging some poor fellow. He got him up on the sand, then gave him mouth-to-mouth. Before the ambulance arrived, he had revived the guy and everybody was cheering and clapping. As the ambulance left and he turned to walk back, he looked up and saw our head lifeguard sitting on his stand, rubbing lotion on his feet. The lifeguard had not seen any of it, so preoccupied with those toes was he. The owner yanked him out of his chair and we never saw him again. Rumor has it he's buried out back somewhere.

A few years ago, they shut Sun Valley down like a Ghost Town. Weeds grew up, the slides rusted and you could barely see the sand. I read today that they've sold it and are going to put 56 single-family homes there. I think I'll ride by and see it one last time. It was a sweet, sentimental part of my childhood that I'll never forget. 

Light as a Feather

I call it the Mother-In-Law dance. It's those awkward gyrations that occur when two cultures collide in a thing called marriage. There are jokes and Greek tragedies based upon it, and it's one of the great mysteries on this planet that will never truly be solved. There's that old saying, "A son's a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter all her life." As the mother of three faithful sons and a newly married daughter, I'm not sure it's that extreme, but there is some truth to that adage.  It's my belief that in most marriages, the culture of the wife is what makes the soul of a home. Like it or not, she is the one who is the liquid between the spaces...the one who connects the dots and brings her own special mix that grows into a new little universe. It is the mystery of womanhood, that in my observance (apologies to my detractors), God made to help root families together. Right smack in the middle of this is the mother-in-law. The new wife wants to please her, but at the same time wants to show her....to prove to her that she is worthy and capable of handling her new role. 

When I married Ken, some 38 years ago, I knew nothing about cooking. I could chop down a tree, clean anything, mow grass, work hard and handle a basketball, but I barely knew how to boil water. The kitchen was my Mama's domain and the only thing about it that was familiar to me was the suds and scrubbing. I was good at that part. It was strange to me, when we married, that Ken didn't care that much about a scoured pot as much as if he was going to get to actually eat. The men in that day were not as savvy as my sons have become with cooking. The grill was a possibility, but it was rare to see any man inside at the cooktop. He was and is a chauvinist in this area. If I am busy or dieting with food he can't muster, he gladly stops off at the Sonic. But is that actually food? I think it reminds him of his childhood and eating at Fat Boy in Smyrna, around the corner from his folks' home. I'm concerned about what might be collecting on the inside of his arteries. 

Ken's Mama (Annette) was Paula Deen, before Paula Deen came onto our radar. She made the best biscuits I've ever eaten...light, fluffy, but crispy around the edges. She used to make two giant pans of them, just to feed Ken, his brother and their baby sister. I did not know pecan pie, until I ate hers. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, she made masses of dressing for the turkey, always stating, "I'm sorry. It's not fit to eat." We all would feel like the holiday did not happen, if we did not get some of her scrumptious dressing. Recently, one of my daughter-in-laws wisely, patiently took down her instructions on how to make it. The legend will live on. I told Annette that one of my big regrets was not sitting at her feet when we first married and learn to cook from her. But no, I was proud. I didn't ask anybody for help. I got a big red-and-white Better Homes and Gardens cookbook as a wedding gift. All these years later, it's greasy and dog-eared. I did learn to cook, raising four giant lumberjack people to prove it. But my journey would have been better and smarter if I had eaten a little humble pie and let her teach me. 

She suffered immensely these last two months, with an aggressive cancer diagnosis. The COVID mess kept us all away, though at the very end she was able to have a little time with her husband and Ken and her daughter, Melissa. She died peacefully, in her sleep, holding Melissa's hand early on Sunday morning. In my mind's eye, I see her floating gently on up, light as a butterfly, with the warm scent of buttermilk biscuits filling up heaven. She and I often had an awkward dance and I know I must have aggravated her a lot with my lack of decorum and social filters. I am almost half-Yankee, there's that, and she was all gracious and Southern. But there are parts of me that she made and raised, that I will ever be grateful for. I will see you again, sweet Mother-in-Love.

Essential Oil

There's a passage in the Bible, where God tells Elijah He's about to pass by. A terrible wind comes, tearing the mountains and shattering the rocks. But God's not in the wind. Then there's an earthquake, but He's not there either. A vicious fire comes raging through but the Almighty isn't in it. Then comes a gentle whisper, a still, small voice. And that's where He is. 

As I sit here tonight in my very quiet, very still house, my brain slows down like the last gasp of a wind tunnel. Most of the folk that would pull at me are now asleep or at least occupied. My phone is on Do Not Disturb, unless you're my Mama or my kids. There's not enough time to really sleep good before it cranks up again. 

How much I have neglected the higher thoughts, the noble ones that God calls us with...where we put ourselves off the throne and listen, just listen. The whisper. It's so profound, you can't hear it unless you stop. Stop whining, stop worrying, stop marching to the tyranny of the urgent. There's always so many things we should be doing, so many things we are not. The cacophony of the rat race is making us deaf. Even with months of solitude, we're face-planted and mired in the next bit of shallow hoopla served up by our phones and TVs.

The air is sweet, heavy and cool tonight. The dew is thick on the grass and the night creatures are humming. I envy my dog's complete abandon to the floor at my feet. But then, there's His still, small voice. At once both a calling and a surrender. It's what's at the end of things, a sort-of parting of the waters. What happens when we allow ourselves to go there, to bypass the other voices, to lay them down, to just be at peace? This world of chaos wants to stir, to agitate, to ignite. But the ways of God bid us to be still, to ponder, to call upon "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise. Think on these things." (Philippians 4:8)

My heart's gone a little rusty and needs some old-fashioned Holy Ghost anointing. Think on these things...

Cleaning Out the Chaos

"Where does all this stuff come from?!" I exclaimed as I was cleaning out our newly-married daughter's room this week. Our old Victorian is short on closets, but high on ceilings -- most of them are 12' at the peak. It's amazing what you can amass over the years. I'm pretty sure there's a giant truck backing up to the carport in the quiet of night, with some kind of elves loading junk into my house. There can be no other explanation why I can't ever seem to come to equilibrium with the clutter. 

While I was at it, we yanked everything out of our nursery and I painted the old wood floor (again). I think it's on its fourth color since we moved here eight years ago. The initial hue was light purple. I've painted it plum, cream, light green and now Renwick Olive. Maybe we won't have to insulate under the floors, the paint is so thick. I threw a second coat on there last night. Here's hoping it all dries good. I can't abide a sticky paint job. My grandkids were bemoaning the fact that they couldn't play in there, and began quizzing me about their toys. "Are you going to throw them away, Yaya?" Tempting, when I see the nice, clean expanse of floor yawning before me. But no, we'll have to jumble it all up again. Some things are worth saving.

We have a massive squirrel problem. Despite my Annie Oakley efforts on the back porch, the "Wildlife Busters" guy said that our attic is basically a giant squirrel's nest. To get rid of them, you have to get in the attic. To get in the attic, you have to purchase a new ladder that actually holds people who weigh more than a hundred pounds. Then you have to chase out or dispose of the squirrels. Then you have to plug up the gazillion holes those varmints have chewed in the soffits and fascia. Then you have to install a fortress of metal around the perimeter of the house. That just ate up two of my recent real estate closings, and the tax man ain't gonna hold back just because we've got critter issues. There are people that hate me because I sit on the back porch and hunt squirrels. Please don't hate me. It's for the greater good.

I alternate days, with my new empty nest. One day, I cry as I remember my babies and all the years of happy dances with them. The next, I laugh because they are now all beautifully asleep with their good spouses. Pa and I can run around however we want without worrying what time they're gonna get home, or if they're going to up and marry some idiot. Then the next day, I'm all misty with my thoughts again. I'm sure somewhere along the way it will begin to balance out. All I have to do is think on those amazing grandbabies and it begins to make a lot of sense. I'm way too tired to be raising kids again, but grandchildren are the sugar-sweet, bodacious reward of the silver-haired. I'll take it.

Our Covid-Perfect Wedding, part 2

As the day grew closer for our daughter's Coronavirus-fraught-wedding in our backyard, it seemed like there was no way it was going to turn out well. Besides being able to invite a fraction of our original list, there were many difficulties to overcome: How to keep folks separated from each other but still have a party? How to serve our simple menu of cake and more cake, along with drinks, without us getting our germs all over each other? How to navigate the hurt feelings of those who weren't invited...How to do a DIY wedding when you're slap worn out...and especially, how to remember that this is my last baby, my only daughter, the true empty nest, without completely crumbling (even if you do love her fiance). And if the 'Rona wasn't bad enough, the riots started and we were all feeling like the world must be coming to an end.

I was walking the dog out in the cool night, a few days before the event...I talked to God and asked Him why all this was happening, and why did all the worst of things seem to be coming true right now, just when our daughter was about to get married? Not only was the chaos devastating, but they also are an interracial couple. My fears of culture clash, the difficulties they could face in the future...all seemed to be about to fall in on their heads. But in just the next breath, the Lord comforted my heart. Already, in our family and with friends, we had seen God change hearts and minds about Liz marrying someone of a different race. People were seeing Marcus as a person, a Godly man, an individual, some rethinking their unrighteous attitudes. Their love, purity and relationship was speaking to all of us, driving us to God's Word about the truths of these things. Our two families were coming together as one to bless their union, trusting God to direct their path. 



The big day came. It was supposed to be very hot and raining -- even thunderstorms were predicted. We rented a tent, set it up to the side, and our army of family and friends descended to transform the back of our yard. There were twinkle lights draped impossibly high from the pecan trees, japanese lanterns, flowers and more flowers, creamy lanterns and candles, beautifully arranged tables and a jam-up dance floor in the middle. A friend helped me make an aisle with shepherd's hooks, hydrangeas and tulle, leading up to an arbor built by one of our sons, dripping with gorgeous flowers. The lights were lit, the drinks were chilling, the young women stunning in their multiple shades of blush pink, the young men resplendent in their black tuxes. 

In any wedding, there comes that aha moment where it's finally time to walk the aisle. We were all lined up outside the door of our house, everyone beaming and thrilled to be a part of it. The music was divine, the six children who were a part of it were too adorable, but behaved perfectly. The bridal party made their way down. The groom was handsome, waiting with the pastor. Then came the bride, more beautiful and radiant than I can explain. A Christian wedding is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the Church, a sacred union of all that is good and holy. God held off the rain, and we saw the sweetest of examples of how He meant it to be. After it was over, after the amazing kiss, the jumping of the broom, the dancing to celebrate and the sparkler send-off, I kept hearing the words from the guests: "perfect. magical. divine." That pretty much sums it up.  I think that, in some amazing way, it turned out better than if we had not been in the middle of a cultural Dante's inferno. We all felt like God was winking at us, because only He could have pulled that off.

Wedding in the Covid Cove

When we moved to Villa Rica in 2012, it was under a bit of duress. The downturn had all but bankrupted us. Our three sons were married, two of them not long before we moved...and our daughter was away at college. They were all devastated at us selling our lovely farmhouse out in the country that they had helped us build with our own hands. Elizabeth resisted the idea of the beautiful, shabby Victorian that we bought with our life savings. It was if she couldn't commit. As we strolled through the yards, I said, "Wouldn't this be a perfect place to have your wedding one day?" She said "Never! I never want an outdoor wedding. There's too many things that could go wrong." I mentioned this to her occasionally over the last eight years, with the same kind of response.

Enter her engagement. We planned for a huge wedding at the chapel and school in Cave Springs, which was very affordable and pure magic. Many days and nights of strategy ensued. We made several trips out there, to see the possibilities. I drew diagrams, we began constructing flower arrangements and buying up decor, dishes and sparklers. Friends contributed items. I cleaned all of our 30+ lanterns and carefully placed them back in their boxes in the barn. We were ready, three months out. I figured it would lessen the wedding stress to have most of it done as early as possible. 

Enter Covid-19. The world shut down like a nervous clam. Not only were we scared to death to venture outside our doors, the venue sent back our money. I cashed the check and put it in a safe. We were having a wedding, somehow, some way, and that money wasn't going for bullets or groceries. When some time had gone by, the folks at the venue thought that we would still be able to have the wedding there. We plowed ahead, learned a new calligraphy font, addressed about 200 invitations, stamped them with wax seals the old-fashioned way and mailed them off with lots of hope. There were ooohs and aaaahhhs, plenty of questions and many well wishes.

My heart was broken for my daughter, as all of those special bridal events that a girl dreams of began to be cancelled as well. The possibility of postponing the wedding was simply not an option. These were Christian young people and had waited and remained pure for their day. None of us wanted them to wait any longer than they had to. But as each week passed, the bad news just seemed to pile up. At first, we watched the reports, the deaths, from remote places. Then we watched it draw near, mild in some cases and deathly in others. There were tears and dread. Surely Jesus is coming back soon, many said.

All this time, our hearts were thick with prayer. I prayed for her and her fiance constantly. I was amazed at her calm and thankful attitude. Drama was all around, but she kept her heart steady and fixed on the truth. Presents began arriving, first in a dribble and then a stream. Her matron of honor arranged a delightful social-distanced shower, then as things began to open up, a bachelorette weekend at the beach. Her originally-scheduled showers were squeezed into the last few days before her wedding. The only venue available to us that didn't cost an arm and a leg was yes, our backyard. Then we began to watch the weather predictions. All was looking dour -- 50%, 80%, 40% -- it changed every day, but always looking like rain. We ordered tents, made contingency plans, prayed more, cried more, rearranged every possible scenario that had conspired over the last six months.... to be continued....